Monday, December 28, 2009

Photo Safari of Japan

After hearing Japanese for three weeks it's nice to be back in America where we all speak spanish.

The kids are so cute there.

Thee guys didn't seem to happy to have their pic taken...I did ask politely!!

Mt Fuji!! ^^

Keep scrolling!!


Went to the Ginza District. Home of the world's priciest real estate. Even more expensive than Aspen. ( 1 very small 1 bed apt = 3.25 million dollars)

Saw the ancient baroque Kabuki theater. The famous Tsukiji Fish Market, and just hung out and window shopped, and people watched.

Fish Market:

Lights of Tokyo and the Rainbow Bridge.

More of Japan

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Spent an hour or two in Osaka port today, Tomorrow I'll have more to time to hang out in Nagoya Japan. Osaka was rather industrial around the port area, the cast is young and their first visit was to the McDonalds...(?) But they have free internet there so I joined them.

Pictures are from some of the areas I found in Osaka. They have Shinto Shrines all over the place, you throw a coin in the table, ring a giant jingle-bell, bow twice, clap twice, say a little prayer and bow some more. People come up all day and say their little prayers. The picture of the old man was taken at a shrine like that. He was very gracious and opened up the shrine doors for me to take pictures. I always throw some coins in the till and perform the ritual out of respect.

The boat is really rocking and pitching on the way to Nagoya, we are sailing all night. It's a bit annoying but thankfully it has not gotten me too queezy yet. It does rock you to sleep nicely.

I can't stop eating, this happens everytime I visit sea-level. I have to eat like a horse. My cabin is on the 6th floor which is about two floors above the water level so I guess my altitude most of the time is about 20 feet above sea level...big change from 9600 feet! I guess have to build up red-blood cells, hence the apetite.

Watched Columbo dubbed in Japanese yesterday, My favorite is a Korean soap-opera about Chinese history with Japanese subtitles. Like "Days-of-our-lives" but with Kung-fu action, I have no idea what's going on but the costumes and sets are amazing. Most of the time I can't figure out if I'm watching a game-show, talk show or info-mercial. Their TV shows incorporate all the elements. Their children's programming is totally weird...Barney on acid!

This blog was written while sitting on thre ground outside the Nagoya subway station where i could find some free wifi that works!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Disoriented in the Orient.

I am sore from bowing and smiling.

We had our first two shows yesterday. Part of show is to run to the back of the room for a meet-n-greet after the final number. Pretty standard for this type of show, and I didn't think much about it. Normally you just stand in a recieving line and shake people's hands as they file past... very much like a recieving line at a wedding. I was unprepared for the onslaught...

400 little Japanese people armed with digital cameras and cell-phones descended on the cast like a biblical plague of locusts. Their eyes shining, star-struck fans clamored to get at us for multiple photos each, shaking our hands vigorusly while bowing like an oil pump in a Texas field.

They lined up 20 deep and waited up to twenty minutes for a picture with little Scotto Bondosan and the others. I could not have possibly imagined this fate awaited me as I ran to the back of the room, had I known what was in store for me I very well may have kept running. Trouble is you can't run very far away on a ship.

The scene repeated itself as I walked around the ship later, meeting and greeting again as people recognized me as "the magico".

I had always heard that working on a cruise ship requires you to adhere to many rules. As an entertainer you have a few more freedoms, and exist somewhere above the regular staff and below the passengers. Here are a few rules from the employee handbook:
No private conversation while at work.
Don't fold your arms or sit "chin in hand"
no whistling.
Don't touch your face or hair while guests are present.
Making use of items that have touched the floor.
nop pinching food.
no pointing at guests.
no blowing your breath against food, beverages, or tableware.
Yawning or picking your nose.

Pictures from Kobe. I finally was allowed off the ship as we had a few hours in port. The first place the cast wanted to visit was Starbucks. I was totally down with that.

Other notes:

Every time I turn on the bathroom light switch I can hear the toilet literally Boot-up. I'm afraid the toilet here might be connected to the internet, and my morning visit is considered "uploading."

I watched Monday Night Football with Japanese Sports commentators. Reducing the National Football League to something more like Ninja Warrior. Every time Someone got tackled or ran out of bounds I expected them to fall into a pool of muddy water.

Cruise ships are not the most quiet way of travel. It grumbles and groans and creaks more than Andy Rooney on a bicycle.

It's not "Merry Christmas" here by the way, it's "Happy-Merry Christmas."

I saw an Obama speech on the news just now. I was wondering where they found a Kenyan-to-Japanese translator.


Monday, December 14, 2009

Kobe Lights

The Ferris wheel fills up my cabin window. It was kinda amazing to come into my room and see that. We were practicing with dress rehearsals this afternoon, and I had not had a chance to look out the windows since we arrived.

First show tomorrow, I think I am ready.

The afore mentioned toilet in my room.
Took awhile to figure out how the shower worked.


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Hola from Japan

Picture of the instructions for my toilet:
A seat warmer is easy to get used to!!

If accidented don't use all toilets...huh?

As we arrived in Osaka at the Kansai Airport I immediatly knew I was not in Kansas anymore. I passed through an infra-red scanner at one point, as they checked my heat levels for signs of fever. I'm not sure what they would do if I" came in hot?" Everyone at the airport who works with the public was wearing their white masks, looked more like a hospital than an airport. They had on masks but no gloves...odd. I think I would rather wear the gloves if I was so concerned.

Osaka airport isreally one of the coolest in the world. Built on a manmade island out in the bay. I remember instantly when I saw it that I had watched a Discovery channel documentary on it's construction. Reminds me of DIA in it's layout with the trains. Instead of teepee towers however The concourse is an undulating snake of polished aluminum. I could've hung out there for awhile but we had a three hour bus trip to get to the ship.

I have to duck my head a lot while on the boat.

It's perfectly fashionable to wear eye-glass frames...without the actual glass lenses.

Tomorrow night we leve for Kobe to pick up passengers. Here we go! Stay tuned!

Friday, December 4, 2009

How Cold is it??

It's So Cold...

Pine beetles are eating and killing toasters.
Hitchhikers on Loveland Pass are holding out pictures of thumbs.
The Salahi couple are crashing house fires.
Brittany is going out without wearing her long-underwear.
Polar bears seen buying snuggies.
Jessica Simpson now selling cream for goose-pimples.
The Heeney Family now begging for the electric chair.
George Michael now carrying around flannel condoms.
Richard Simmons is actually wearing pants.
Ted Williams head can go out on it's own.
Iran has been secretly enriching hot cocoa.
I had to salt the shower before I got in.
Kids can't illegally text while wearing mittens.
Rod Blagojevich is wearing three toupees.
GM is unveiling a hybrid zamboni.
Even the brass monkeys are buying hand warmers.
Every now and then I have to restart my heart by shouting "Mush."

No matter how cold it is, it is still warmer than Tiger Woods house right now.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Obama /Oprah 2012!!

Oprah is going to retire from her show in 2011 so she can spend more time with Gayle's family.

She sent me a list of things she is thinking of doing after retirement:

Take the show on tour; Oprah on Ice!

She is also planning on moving to Florida...and buying it.

Then she will write a fraudulent Memoir that she will endorse in her book club, and then she will release statements saying she was duped again by the author, herself.

Oprah will possibly use her vast sums of money to go into the crime-fighting industry like Bruce Wayne.


Saturday, November 14, 2009

On Snot, Skiing, and Swine Flu...

"Your nose runs in the cold for a reason" I read several years ago. According to Inuit tribes in the freezing far North; that If you simply blow your nose into your hands and rub them around you will have warm hands.Yeah, seriously!
I have yet to try this technique.
I can't bring myself to forgo the bandana and launch my hands into my own snot-rocket. Excuse me but Eeewwww. I may have to save that technique for an extreme emergency bivouc, although the idea of hollowing out a Texan and spending the night inside of him seems much more palatable than moisturizing with a farmer's blow.

Skiing and snot seem synonymous. The bandana has been a skiing fashion staple, I believe, for this very reason. Unfortunately in these days of the pandemic flu a bandana on a snowboarder has to be treated like a bio-hazard. Take note germaphobes, skiing may not be the sport for you. Although the nice thing about winter mittens is that they hide rubber gloves nicely. Speaking of gloves; don't put the back of mine under one of those crime-lab flourescent lights either.

I guess if my nose didn't run I wouldn't have anything to do on the chairlift. The guy next to me is too busy with his iPod or cell-phone anyway, so conversation is out. So it's just me and my bandana. Sometimes I make a little puppet out of the bandana and talk to him, that usually insures that i'll be riding even more single than I already am. Regardless, the red rag comes out every trip up the hill. my own personal nose-flag flapping in the breeze. Maybe I should just start carrying some of those tibetan prayer bandanas then I could just leave them behind in the trees with all the others when I'm done. Karmic Kleenex...I like it.

The other backcountry bio-hazard that seems not only tolerated, but somewhate revered, is the powder-day snot-sickle. Come on...who hasn't snapped a picture of one? Like an unspoken horror hanging from your nose, the frozen stalagtite sways and moves with every word captivating the viewer in a hypnotic trance of awe mixed with nausua. It's even better when it freezes to the bandana trapping it to your face, turning the bandana into somekind of medevil iron maiden mask.There's something about growing the biggest one too, they become a competition. I swear if people could, they would mount up their snot-sickles up like bowling trophies.

Hopefully someone will invent the disposable bandana, an alternative to the dust-mask, people could wear them cowboy fashion and at the end of the day just toss them away. It might catch on in the cities; it's much cooler to wallk around with an Outlaw Josey Wales bandana over your mouth than one of those surgeon things.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Happy 40th Birthday to Sesame Street!

Happy Birthday Sesame Street

If it wasn't for Sesame Street we'd all be playing with a "Tickle-me-Barney" doll.

Big Bird out this season with the Bird-Flu.

New Muppet character introduced for the 40th season; "Katie the Cougar"

Burt and Ernie are now married, which is nice.

Oscar the Grouch gets a new show on Fox News...much less crying then the Glenn Beck muppet.

Michelle Obama will be on the season premier with her White House Garden explaining "the joys of watching things grow" the National Debt?!
She will be bringing her Obama Muppet that she got elected to be the president.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

My Life in the News:

As I was looking through some old albums I realize I have a complete documentation of my life as seen through newspaper photographers.

So for Archival purposes and also for shameless self-promotion I present my entire life as depicted in the newpapers.

It all started with winning a talent show as an 8 year-old with my ventriloquist puppet.

Ventriloquism, Mime and then will see a theme here.

Click on Picture to see full version!

At 15 years old I made my Brother and Sister perform a mime act with me. Here's my brother Bruce and I getting some press in Austin: They got my name wrong...

In Austin, Texas, A juggler finally:

One morning I woke up and found my picture on the front page of the Galveston paper:

My Life in the news: Elroy Bondo years

Little Scotty Bondo and my partner Russ Bondo;
We spent a lot of time in the parks around Denver practicing our juggling...photographers were always snapping pics of us:

Click on Pic to see whole thing!

I was the AP photo of the day here, Someone from Grand Junction sent me this:

Not a newspaper picture...but pretty they named a sandwich after us.

Not a newspaper...This is from Denver Magazine:

Sometimes I just got my picture taken for just being in the right place at the right I was just shopping around on my rollerblades...